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Feelings are our emotions. There are "sensations" that we feel deep down inside our heart as a result of what we experienced to how we think and how we respond. It is a medium to communicate with our inner self as well as a "language" to others. Every one of us has our own trait to how we express our feelings. We often times find it easier to convey positive feelings than negative ones. However, as difficult as it gets, we can never cease to agree that so often when complicated feelings are expressed, the depth of our personality comes out and we tend to let go of the feelings much easier. Communications and expressing is a way to a better self-improve and this simple secret is a successful ingredient to getting along with people you care and loved. The worst it gets is when one tends to think that bottling up your thoughts and feelings is always the best way to "protect" ourselves from getting hurt more. Do you know then that blocking them off can actually really open the "wound" up more as it has indirectly become a self prepared weapon that enables cruel feelings to linger in the heart? Silence can sometimes be golden but it can also be misinterpreted.
Why are feelings often so hard to express?
- Even before we could express, we tend to sometimes have a preconceive thought that we may end up hurting others by saying something that just did not comes out the way it should
- Perhaps they are afraid that their feelings would jeopardize the relationship that they are sharing
- They may even be afraid of what others will think after that.
- Or possibly the mere thought of sharing their true emotions and having to open up is "scary" enough to stop them from expressing it out
So how do you express your feelings?
Such fears to express can actually be conquered. Struggling is the first step to realizing the needs to change and to change is to improve. No one can judge better than ourselves to how we personally feel therefore that is why sometimes, it makes it difficult to find the right word to describe what we actually feel.
1. Learn to speak your heart so it does not hurt those you care and loved
2. Be specific to what you have to say. Analyze and find the right word that says your feeling most. General term such as "upset" or "sad" may actually have the other party ending up confused or puzzled.
3. Start off by not declaring or blaming others of your feelings. Instead of pointing fingers, start expressing by turning it into a form of "sharing". Stop yourself from having to something like "It is your entire fault" or "I am angry because of you" as such statement would agitate them in return. Do not accuse as it would have the other party swing into a defensive mode.
4. Stay mature and respect the others person point of view. Sometimes, we may find the other party point of view unreasonable but whatever it could be, you do not have to oppose their opinion even it differs from your own. Act like a grownup and respect others viewpoints.
5. Do not fear peoples judgment. If all you ever did was to think of others, you will never leave space to think for your own. Do not fear of what others have to think in the end as your imagination tends to create a far worse scenario than the actual state. To overcome your fear, try "asking" or help instead of "forcing" or "demanding" them into helping you. Start of by making them feel as thou as their help is needed and this would invoke their desire to help. Sentence such as "I am having a tough time and I am wonder if you could help me" would provoke them into thinking that their presence is important.
6. When you are upset over something, write it down. Vent your feelings and what you have to say through writings. Sleep over it and by the time you know it, you will find that viewpoints to the matter have changed.
In fact, putting down your thoughts and feelings down in writings would actually be more effective. In writings, you will have whatever you want to say uninterrupted and your initial chain of thoughts will not be shifted. A well written message sometimes conveys more than having it put up verbally.
7. Speak it out. Do not ever deny your feelings be it good or bad. It is part of human experience to get a taste of every sensation in life. Share it with others. It would not make you any less of a human if you do. You may not know when someday, others may even open up to you too.
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Source by Wei Jane Liew
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