How Sex Tips Undermine Sexual Intimacy

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Come on and just admit it, we all want to have better sex! No matter what age you are, there is a powerful internal drive to improve our sexual experience.

If you are like most other inspired lover"s you can not resist those sex  tip  headlines that are plastered all over the magazines at the checkout counter at your local grocery store. Your eye"s just natural gravitate to those steamy and seductive phrases "Hottest Sex Ever", "Make Him Beg Tonight", or "Mind Blowing Orgasm Secret".

But reality speaks loud and clear - experience teaches us that sex  tips  can backfire pretty quickly when we try to act them out in the bedroom.

Some of us learn about the danger of just learning sexual position terms and facts without a meaningful context -- passive reception of information leads to a "do this get this" thinking.

The "do this get this" mentality is the exact opposite of true intimacy. I call this outcome-focused learning and its a dangerous thing!

Outcome focused thinking kills passion in the bedroom and neuters intimacy faster. Its about doing and getting, the opposite of intimacy which is about "being" and sharing.

The classic example to illustrate this danger is the plethora of books on sexual techniques to improve sex life (i.e. improve your orgasm in 3 steps).

As your Intuition knows, techniques alone are not sufficient because they are very limited in what they can do to improve sexual bond between lovers. There must be an honest intention of intimacy prior to every action.

We all have fallen into this trap at one time or another -- how many of us have purchased or borrowed a Kama Sutra book?

What where the results?

Think of the attitude you and your partner had towards using the book as a guide? Was it constructive?

• Did you try variations and seek and learn from each other outside of the information in the book?



• Did you share your understanding of the picture with your partner?



• Or did you passively look at the pictures and try various positions moving from one position to the other -- judging the positions as stupid or too difficult?




• Can you now understand how information can kill your sexual relationships?

How To Build Sexual Passion With Honest Intent

Building passion through understanding is a creative and constructive process not an act in a single moment.

When information is used to construct new understanding, outside the source of the original information, a new relationship between things and people emerge - creativity will always spark passion and lead to fulfillment of desire.

Ultimately, sexual problems exist within the context of both relationships and in our daily life -- they are not only about bodies and bedrooms, it impacts the quality of our relationship to ourselves, others and the world around us.

In the real world sexual techniques must exist within a context between lovers. No book can account for all the contextual details of their readers. Information as content always has limited value - it is only a starting point and should never be confused with knowledge.

What to do...

Learn how to recognize when you fall into the content-learning trap and shift your sexual attitude and attempt to apply techniques and  tips  as an experiment. Do not think of end results, rather focus on the journey.

When you discover how to play with the ideas and information, rather that expect specific results, I guarantee your lover will pay you back 100 times! So go ahead let those steamy sex  tips  inspire you, but let your imagination guide you.

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Source by Erik Kampe

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